How To Decrease Shame After A Pregnancy Loss

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How To Decrease Shame After A Pregnancy Loss

Sara joined the group feeling emotionally isolated from her large and loving family. As the parent of a toddler, there were a lot of questions about baby number 2’s arrival. She shared little with family about her recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and came to loathe family events. The barrage of questions that would inevitably come, and the feelings of shame were too much. Isolation was easier.  

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Why I took a risk and joined a therapy group

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In May of this year, I published this in my newsletter. I want it to live on for others to read and learn more about group therapy so I’m sharing it here. (If you’d like to join my mailing list to receive future newsletters, please sign up here).

Last October I enrolled in a group therapy training program. If you’ve been following along for any length of time you know I’m passionate about running groups. If you're new here— welcome!

Enrolling in this program seemed like a natural step to deepen my work. What I didn’t realize was just how much I would learn about myself. In addition to the monthly Saturday classes, students are required to participate in a weekly interpersonal process group. I was aware that one's role in the group often mimics interactions in the outside world. But I had no idea how that would FEEL.

To see myself more clearly has been liberating. From my interactions with colleagues, to the group of parents I’ve met through my child’s softball team, to my family of origin— I'm the same person, doing the things I do that keep me feeling safe and that simultaneously hold me back from being the person I'd like to be. 

The group provides an experimental place to try out new things and take risks in being the person I'd like to be in the outside world. With practice, the hope is that I will start making changes in all my real-world groups.

Participating in a group is a risk. We don't know how we will change, and if the group will deliver what we are seeking. It takes vulnerability and courage to show up, commit, and make changes where old patterns are no longer serving us. By the end of the group, most people feel more comfortable in their own skin.

I don't usually disclose so much about myself, but I’m sharing my experience because soon I will be offering process groups in my practice to provide a similar opportunity for others. Message me here with any questions you have about process groups. What would it be like to lean into being a better version of yourself? 

As of August 2024, I’m opening enrollment for a women’s group I’m starting this fall. This group is open to everyone and anyone who identifies as a woman. Would you like to learn more about yourself, challenge old patterns, improve relationships at work, home, with peers? This group is for people who are interested in learning about their own reactions and interpersonal interactions. The focus is on what comes up within and between the members in the room. You can learn more about the group here.